I am a 27 year-old straight female who is just about to finish college. I am ready to settle down and begin a family. The problem is that I am in love with two men, both of whom have hinted that they might soon pop the question. Each knows about the other, but none of us are interested in one of those…let’s say, “modern” arrangements. They are not friends with each other and have never met.
“Mike” is a long-distance relationship, as he is now in the Navy. We met at a college party and have known each other for three years. We email and call at least once a week. He is kind, hard working, and it looks like he will have a good career.
I met “Pete” when I was interning at an IT company last year. We hit it off right away and have spent a lot of time talking and seeing bands together. Because of school and work, we see each other maybe once or twice a week. He also has a good career and is really intelligent and sweet.
Long story short, I honestly cannot choose between Pete and Mike. Both are loving and attractive and would make good husbands and fathers. I am ready to start a life with one of them, but I just can’t choose. Help!
Two too many choices in Berkley
When Mom decided that she was ready for a puppy, she had very specific qualities in mind. She had rescued other dogs before, so she knew exactly what temperament would fit into her life, what size of grownup dog she wanted, and even what she wanted the dog to look and sound like. When we first met, I was one of eight puppies in my litter. Mom spent the afternoon playing with us all. The lady who cared for us and my doggy mommy said that all us pups were available, so Mom could have the pick of the litter. The thing is, Mom did not want just any puppy. Mom knew that once she committed to one of us, it was a life-long relationship, so she had to get it right, even if she had to wait for another litter.
Of all the puppies in my litter, I was the smallest. I was also the reddest. I did kind of get bullied by my older siblings, so I was a little aloof back then. But I did not let that stand in the way of my outlook on life. I just somehow knew that I would get along better with people than most other dogs.
Mom has told the story of how we met many times. Each time, she says that she knew INSTANTLY that I was THE ONE. The other puppies were cute and friendly and fun, but she said there was something special about me. The choice was crystal clear, and we have been together ever since. Mom could have settled for any other puppy, and they most likely would have been happy together, but with me, she did not have to settle at all.
If your choice is not crystal clear between Mike and Pete, then I believe that you have not yet found your pick of the litter. Both men may be as great as all of my siblings were, but neither is “THE ONE.” You may be ready to settle down, but you are not ready to make a commitment. I say stop leading both of these nice men along and let them go so that each can find the woman that will be his “THE ONE,” that way you will not be distracted while you continue your search. Trust me, you will know right away when you have met your pick of the litter.