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Barefoot trophies and Paper Bottles

Barefoot trophies and Paper Bottles

Catching up

Jim

Jim continues to work on his writing projects (two scripts and finishing his novel, plus our sketches and other fun stuff). He is finishing reading Philip K Dick’s novel FLOW MY TEARS, THE POLICEMAN SAID. He has many great ideas flowing right now. Is he experiencing an artistic renaissance? Stay tuned.

Mélanie

Just returned from the District 33 Toastmasters Conference where she competed in the final round of the Table Topics contest. She took third, and did it barefoot. She was proud to be part of #barefootagainstbullying

Good news

Saved by Chrome
Dog saves an entire family (shared by Abby)

Wet & Wild
Man finds a way to give back to both the needy and the environment via bottled water

Rants and Rabbit holes

Agent Orange is back, delivering his FBI know-how to the world. Based on a true story.

Dog Abby

What do you do when your boyfriend can’t keep a job? Read Abby’s answer here.

Doggie Dollah

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Lead-in music by Purple Planet

Jobless Faire – Dog Abby

Jobless Faire – Dog Abby

Dog Abby:

Yesterday, my boyfriend came home early from work with an all-too-familiar look on his face. He had lost his job. Again. Abby, he hasn’t been able to hold down a job for more than a year in the five years we’ve been together. He is intelligent and charming, but I’m now convinced that he is also incredibly lazy. We argued for about half an hour about it with no resolution. I admit, I simply wasn’t willing to listen to his reasons anymore. I consider them nothing but excuses now. I got in my car and drove to a motel so I could be away from him and gather my thoughts.

As I’m writing this, I am trying to decide whether to leave him, or give him another chance with severe conditions imposed. But I don’t want to come across as a mother to him, although it seems he could use one. Can you guide me in some direction?

Giving Up in Galveston

Dog Abby paw print

 

Dear Giving Up:

When I was a puppy, mom and I lived in Washington State close to the famous Green River. It is actually a very nice river, and I loved swimming in it. One of my favorite things in the world was when mom would throw one of my tennis balls far, far up the river. I would calculate how fast the current was and where I should jump in so that I could cut up against the current and meet my ball on the way down. Mom said that I was clever for figuring out all these things and that pattern recognition was a sign of intelligence. I learned that no matter how many times my mom threw the ball into the river, the speed of the current was not going to change. One year, we came to our favorite swimming spot early in the spring, just after a big storm. There was a giant tree that had fallen into the water! The river went around it, but the current had changed. It took me a couple of times to catch my ball, but I figured out the new pattern.

I do not know much about those longer words mom used, but I do see a pattern here. After five years, your boyfriend’s pattern has not changed. I do not recommend dropping a giant tree on him, but I can say that changing a river’s current or a person’s habits requires really big things. These things are not things that you can do for them.

I was not sure of the difference between giving up and giving in, and so I asked mom. She told me that they mean the same thing, which is even more confusing because up and in are not the same directions. Mom added that giving is not always a good thing, even though everyone says it is. She added that in one of her most famous speeches, she said, “A chance is not something that can be given or granted, a chance is something that you must TAKE.”

Both mom and I read your letter, and we are concerned that you are constantly giving your boyfriend chances, and he is wasting them rather than taking them. You are not taking any chances for yourself, and it might be time. Being alone is scary, but it is better to depend on yourself than to continue to depend on someone else who cannot even depend on themselves.

With Love,

Abby

BIL & Bill

BIL & Bill

Catching up

Jim

Shave and a haircut… too short! (Had a run in with some clippers a few days ago) Jim also made another concession to old age: getting reading glasses. Oh well…After hearing Philip K Dick’s speech at the end of Ancient of Days, Jim picked up a copy of his novel FLOW MY TEARS, THE POLICEMAN SAID. He is enjoying the book, and will talk about it more when he finishes it.

He also wished his dear old Mum a happy birthday. She must marvel at how the boy whose diapers she changed is now a wrinkled, balding old fart with reading glasses.

Mélanie

Melanie is getting ready for the Toastmasters contest in Bakersfield next weekend. (She shall bring it!) She is also continuing work on her books and webinars. You can find her latest Clear and Persuasive Business Writing 101 here.

 

Good news

This is insanely cool…Friends of Disabled Man Carry Him Up Mountain So He Can Go Volcano Surfing

 

Rants and Rabbit holes

Our scheduled AGENT ORANGE sketch has been postponed due to technical issues. We will play it next week! We are proud of this one.

We talked about the rise and fall of one Dr. William H. Cosby Jr. Although we believe that many of his accusers were liars, hangers-on and “serial accusers,” we know that he has admitted drugging women and having sex with them. The fact that he made his Pound Cake speech knowing that he was hardly the role model he made himself out to be was the beginning of his downfall. He was one of our favorite entertainers (Jim in particular cites Cos as a huge influence on his stand-up comedy), and this is a huge disappointment.

We also made a jab at 60 Minutes, and Fake News in general. (Our show is better —- tune in!)

 

 

Dog Abby

How does a man deal with his new girlfriend’s teenage sons? Read Abby’s answer here.

 

Special Guests: Barefoot is Legal

Starting May 4, take off your shoes to put off a bully. Join the #barefootagainstbullying Challenge!

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Lead-in music by Purple Planet

Teenage Time vs. Dog Time – Dog Abby

by Abigail Hope 0 Comments
Teenage Time vs. Dog Time – Dog Abby

Dog Abby,

I recently met a great single woman at a church retreat. She’s intelligent, funny, and (yes) very good looking. We’ve gone out on a few dates, and I can tell she’s just as smitten with me as I am with her. The problem? She is the mother of two teenage boys. I haven’t met them yet, because she is looking for the right opportunity for us to meet. Their father, who by all indications is a good guy, is still very involved in their lives.

Abby, I never had kids of my own, and I’m not sure how we are going to get along. I’m also not sure how much of a father figure I can (or should) be to them, at least early on. I want to take it easy and let things progress naturally, but I am really nervous about this. I don’t want my nervousness to interfere with what may be a great thing. Do you have any advice?

Trembling in Trenton

Dog Abby paw print

 

Dear Trembling,

When I asked mom what a teenager was, she said that in people-years, I was not yet a teenager, but in dog-years, I am an old lady. Humans seem to live slower than dogs, yet they are always complaining about how long something takes, which is sad, since they have so much more time to enjoy the process than we dogs do. I remember when I was a puppy, mom complained that it took forever for my tail to grow out (I only had short peach fuzz on it) and how long it took for me to learn to go outside to potty. In my world, I just woke up one day with long plumes on my tail and the desire to use the doggy door. It went by so quickly, I did not remember it being any other way. Maybe puppies live faster than grown dogs, too. I bet it is the same for kids and grown-up people.

You said that your new lady friend had teenagers, and this is great. It means that the kids are almost grown up and will not really need you to be a second dad. It sounds like they already have a good dad, and this is great, too! So, not only do you have all the time you need to take it slow, but you will find that the time goes by so quickly, everything will change almost overnight.

While I sometimes get impatient waiting for mom to finish her work so that we can go to the park, I know that the more patient I am and the less I bother her, the longer our walks will be. Sometimes mom will need my help for a photo shoot or to write a part of our books. She comes to me and I do the best I can to do what she asks me to do. If you want to take long walks with this lady, then I suggest that you be patient and give her lots of time. She has a lot to do, with her kids and everything, so help her when she asks for it and do not bug her when she does not ask for your help. You will find that you have more time than you need and not enough time to enjoy it all.

Meanwhile, these teenager boys might be fun to have as friends. Just like with my kitties, if you are kind and patient, and do not try to move too fast, they will warm up to you when they see you are not a threat.

Good luck,
Abby

Sheryl Green – Unstuck

Sheryl Green – Unstuck

You catch more dogs with a Kong full of peanut butter than with a shock collar.”
~Sheryl Green

At CounterCultureWISE, when we get a good guest, we recycle them! Recently, we had George Gilbert on for a third time. Today, we are bringing back one of his partners in crime, Sheryl Green. Sheryl is the author of “Surviving to Thriving: How to Overcome Setbacks and Rock Your Life,” as well as a professional speaker. We will be talking about her newest book, “Once Upon a Bottom Line: Harnessing the Power of Story in Sales” which is ALMOST out. I am pleased to bring back busy lady, Storytelling Expert, and Animal Rescuing Badass, Sheryl Green.

 

 

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Sheryl Green Speaks

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Exit music by Purple Planet

Have a Soy Reparation Mocha, On the House!

Have a Soy Reparation Mocha, On the House!

Catching up

Jim

Jim is back to writing. In addition to the sketches and ads he writes for the show, he’s also actively working on two screenplays. He is looking forward to getting back on stage and in front of the camera soon!

Mélanie

Writing, writing, writing, teaching, teaching, TEACHING! In addition, she had another great show with the Las Vegas Improvisational Players, including our friend and former guest Jody Reynolds, who brilliantly lent his talent to tonight’s “Starcucks” sketch.

Good news

From Max: Win stuff for your local animal shelter by teaching your cat to “high five.” Max and Jim are going to start working on this now.

From Abby:  Police Identify Missing Husky By Seeing if it Sings Along With its Favorite Tune (Hint: it’s the theme to a popular Israeli TV show.)

From Jim: Meet The Former Fighter Pilot With ‘Nerves Of Steel’ Who Landed The Southwest Flight Never mind Diana Prince. This is a real-life Wonder Woman!

Rants and Rabbit holes

We are compelled yet again to discuss the importance of the second amendment. Saying guns kill people is like saying forks cause obesity. We replayed our BILL O’REITZ episode THE GRABBER! We also discussed how horrible Jim is at boycotting companies. We then played our brand new STARCUCKS sketch. (We seriously believe Starbucks went too far with this whole situation.)

Dog Abby

Dog Abby is still working on replying to her most recent letter, so special guest Cat Max lends his considerable voice to the discussion on the 2nd Amendment…or does he?

Max has something to say.

 

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Lead-in music by Purple Planet

Cat Max – Bare Arms

Cat Max – Bare Arms

Not to be outdone by his big sister, Max wants to try his paw at answering letters. He did so well last time that we told him no.

 

…so he insisted on chiming in about current events…

 

Enjoy.

 


Greetings and salutations, my friends! For the last few months, I have been hearing Mumsy and Father discussing the constipational right to bare arms. Well, not only do I have 4 bare arms, but my front two paws even have thumbs! So I feel I am eminently qualified to discuss this right.

I must start with a serious question: What on earth would possess a human, a cat, or any other creature to forbid another to use their arms? I need all 4 of mine simply to walk around! And Father would not be able to do his myriad jobs without using both of his arms. Can you imagine writing, acting, or shooting photographs with only one arm? And how could Mumsy gesticulate in her inimitable fashion when speaking or teaching without the full use of her arms, let alone write her wonderful books? The tyranny of those who would stop my beloved parents from using both of their arms to bring home the kibble is an assault on all of the values we hold dear.

I simply cannot fathom the mentality of someone who would limit the full movement of another’s body parts, especially their arms. After all, how would I be able to cover my messes after relieving myself without the use of my…

…Mumsy just informed me that I may perhaps have misunderstood the Second Amendment. Carry on.

Starcucks

Starcucks

Ok…lemmee see here…

I own a business. I pay the rent, the power, the water/sewer/trash, and all the supplies — including toiletries for patrons. I pay extra for the smooth jazz over the system, which I also paid to install, and I pay extra for all the losses from jackholes stealing stuff from the front end. I have to cover my employees’ wages, medical, unemployment taxes, uniforms, and I even come in on my days off to cover for them when their kids are sick or they have to study for a final. I pay for a custodian to ensure the place is clean. I have to pay taxes on the parking lot, taxes on the franchise rights, taxes on every purchase, and taxes for every item we sell. I even have to pay an insane amount in liability insurance should you trip over your own feet on the way in. I pay for the wifi that you connect to for free, even if you don’t come inside. I even bought all of the furniture you are planting your ass on, for free, while my ACTUAL customers are standing.

Come on! The least you could do is buy a freaking cup of coffee. Oh. You already brought your own drink. Wow. That’s kinda rude, innit? I mean, who does that?

Oh, wait…that’s racist…God forbid I should hold EVERYONE to the same standards. Silly me.

 

 

 

 

Opening/closing music “Clear Day” from Bensound

Coast to Coast and Coasting

Coast to Coast and Coasting

Catching up

Jim & Mélanie

We took a different approach from our formula at the beginning of our show. We started by paying tribute to Art Bell, whose show COAST TO COAST AM was a precursor to shows like many of the ones found on Freedomizer. We also sent well wishes and prayers to Barbara Bush, who has been hospitalized and is not expected to be around much longer. We both consider her a great example of a First Lady. We discussed a shooting in our neck of the woods (at Sunset Park) that happened as we were preparing for the show. Our scheduled interview guest was a first responder, so we were not sure if he would be available, but he came through for them AND us. Thank you Phil!

Rants and Rabbit holes

Also unlike most recent shows, we were not able to present a sketch. Quite frankly, the issue dominating the news, our attack on Syria, has the both of us quite upset. As of this posting, we are not convinced that Assad was responsible. (In fact, it would have been more likely to be ISIS or a similar group that did this.) And this behavior on the part of President Trump runs counter to his style of leadership. Did the FBI finally and really find something incriminating on him? On the other hand, we don’t have as many facts in front of us as do Mr. Trump and members of Congress. On the other OTHER hand, that kind of makes everything even MORE suspect. Oy, our heads…This is one of the reasons we tend not to discuss politics on our show.

 

Dog Abby

What do you do when your spouse goes nuts in Sin City? Read Abby’s answer here.

 

 

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Lead-in music by Purple Planet

Phil Valentine

Phil Valentine

When we don’t have something to compare our fear to, we can’t measure it, so it seems enormous.”
~Phil Valentine

Tonight’s guest has more than 30 years of experience in the entertainment business, which, judging by his looks, means he began at age 2. Phil’s flagship program is a unique seminar on how to permanently overcome the fear associated with public speaking. He has worked with lawyers, corporate executives, sales people, and entrepreneurs nationwide teaching them that rather than “masking” their fear, nervous speakers can actually “cure” it and reach their full potential. He is known for his book, “Why Can’t You Tickle Yourself,” enjoy this interview with Performance Coach, Phil Valentine.

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Mastering Influence for Success

 

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Exit music by Purple Planet