Several years ago, I had a falling out with my brother when I pointed out that his wife was openly disrespecting him. They have since divorced, and he recently called me to ask forgiveness for taking sides with her even though deep down, he knew she was wrong. I’m still very hurt over the whole thing. Should I let bygones be bygones?
Sister in Santa Ana
When Mom and Dad first got together, Dad had a cat named Junior Barnes. I had a cat named Stormy, and we were best friends, but Junior did not like me. Not. One. Bit. He would hiss and growl and run away, even if I was just sitting there. I tried to be friends, but he was not interested. Later, when Mom and Dad moved in together, Junior found out that he could go in and out of my doggie door. He really liked that door. He realized that we would be able to get along, and we became friends. He would even sleep on the bed with me sometimes. Our whole lives changed from there on — from losing Stormy, to gaining new kitties, to moving all the way to another state. Junior and I went through a lot together, and it would have been really hard if we were not friends through it all.
If Junior Barnes can forgive me for being a dog, then you can forgive your brother for being a bonehead. You don’t have to remember the whys and hows or even the whos and whats. What is important is that he wants to be your brother again.
Junior crossed over the rainbow bridge two years ago, and we all really miss him. I am glad that we were able to be friends. Never, ever, ever let a moment go by to make up with someone you love. You just don’t know how long you will have.