Divorce Distress – Dog Abby

Dog Abby,

I’m 12 years old, and my mom and dad divorced a couple of years ago Mom met a man at church a few months ago, and they are starting to go out on dates. I like this man, and I want my mom to be happy, but there is a part of me that still wants my mom and dad back together. Is it normal to feel this way?

Confused in Columbus

 

Dear Cornfused,

I am only 10 years old, but I am told that my years make me older than your years, so I will tell you what I learned when my mom and dad divorced. When my mom and dad first split up, I was devastated. He was the only dad I ever knew, and I worried that I would never have another dad who loved me again. The thing is, I did not know any better because he really was the only dad I ever had! When mom found the dad I have now, I gave him a chance, and he was the best dad ever! If my first dad wanted to hang around, I would have had two dads — and that would have been super cool. But, things work differently with dogs and people, so we never saw my first dad again. I hope your first dad wants to be there for you forever.

I know that my mom would never have been happy with my first dad. If mom wasn’t happy, how could I be? If they were both miserable, how would I feel? Mom is super happy now, and so is my new dad. Give your new dad a chance. If he’s awesome, then your life will be, too. It doesn’t mean that your first dad doesn’t love you anymore. It just means that you get more love, and your mom (and most likely your dad) will be happier!

Lots of extra love,

Abby