Twisted Sister – Dog Abby

Dog Abby,

I have been happily married for 5 years. I was at a Christmas party last year, and after having a bit too much egg nog, found myself hitting on my wife’s younger sister. (My wife never found out.) This sister recently messaged me, saying she wants to hook up. How do I tell her that I’m not interested without hurting her feelings or upsetting her? I am afraid she might tell my wife if she gets upset.

Scared in Scarborough

 

Dear screwed in Scarborough,

If you did not hump her leg, you did nothing wrong. Tell the sister that, while you are flattered, you were drunk and mistook her for your wife. Make sure she knows that you are very sorry and that it was entirely your fault for drinking so much. Also, tell her that your wife already knows about your screw-up. (She DOES know, right?) This will save you from hurt feelings and blackmail. If there is another guy to connect her with, do it. That way, she will be focused on the new puppy and forget all about the old dog.

Love,

Abby