I was just offered a great new job closer to my home. When I gave my boss notice, I was expecting her to be disappointed. What I didn’t expect was for her to get genuinely upset. She insinuated (no, she flat out said) that I lacked loyalty to the company and to her. She’s a career woman, while I have always thought of my job as a just a means to keep a roof over my head. Her overreaction upset me to the point where we barely speak to each other. This is not how I wanted to spend my last week at the job. How do I make things smoother…or should I bother?
Flustered in Fullerton
I know Mom and Dad have changed jobs before. Every time they have, it was to make a better life for themselves and the family — the family meaning me and my kitties. That is more important than anything! Even bosses they have left are generally happy for them. Even when mom is the boss and her employees leave, she is happy for them, too. It is part of being a grown-up human.
I’m sorry your boss is taking it so personally, because it really is not personal. Maybe you could tell her that. Maybe even tell her that you could still be friends after you leave. If you plan to continue a friendship with your boss after you leave, show her some act of kindness to indicate that it’s nothing personal. Maybe take her out to a thank you dinner or give her a plant or a thoughtful gift card.
When mom and dad moved to Las Vegas, everyone in Seattle was sad, but they still loved us. We were not moving away because we were disloyal or leaving anyone, we went because there were so many great things we were moving toward. All of our real friends still talk with us and sometimes even visit us! I get really excited when my friends and family come to my house, and no one is upset that we left, although we do miss each other. Those that did not care much for us, they do not call us, and we have forgotten them as much as they have forgotten us. That is OK, because we have made a whole bunch of new friends, too many to count.
If you think of your boss as “just a boss” like you consider your job “just a job,” I would not worry too much about how she is acting. After you leave, she will forget you and fade from your memory, too. Do not let her attitude affect yours or what should be a happy and exciting time for you. Congratulations on your new job, and good luck!