I had a very nasty breakup and divorce a couple of years ago with a woman who I thought would be my partner for life. I have been keeping to myself ever since. A few weeks ago, I met a lovely woman at a church function. She was new to town and looking for people to connect with. Last week she indicated that she would like to have dinner with me sometime and said she was free for Valentine’s Day.
Abby, I really like this girl, and she has all but asked me out on a date for Valentine’s, but I am very nervous about doing this because the day is still emotionally charged for me based on my failed marriage. Should I give myself more time or should I call and make those dinner reservations?
Vexed in Vermont
By the way you put the question, I think I know which way you are leaning. But since you seem to need that final nudge…have I got a story for you!
My mom met the man who is now my dad 8 years ago in January. Up until that point, Mom had had a long series of very bad Valentine’s Days. She had been broken up with, had friends and relatives die, and even had her cat set its tail on fire while her date was waiting for her! On top of all that, she had gotten a divorce from my first daddy, who left her on Valentine’s Day, so she did not really consider it a real holiday anymore. After first daddy, mom would just hang out with me on Valentine’s Day and not pay any attention to anything else outside of a wine bottle.
Even though dad had only known mom for a few weeks, dad decided to try and change her mind about Valentine’s Day. He even told her (and me) that he wanted her to have the Best Valentine’s Day Ever! He made dinner reservations at one of the best restaurants in town. Auntie Felicity did mom’s hair and makeup, and mom put on a beautiful dress and drove out to the restaurant. She says that when dad saw her walk in the door, he dropped his jaw AND his fork! Dad had bought her flowers, and surprised her with a heart-shaped diamond necklace which she still wears almost every day after all of these years.
It was the true beginning of their relationship, and it happened because they took a chance on each other. Maybe you will find something special with this lady, maybe not. But as my mom likes to say, “What’s the worst that could happen?” You will not have to be alone on Valentine’s Day, and you will have a fun time with a lady you like, even if it does not work out. The best that could happen? You will begin a new part of your life that will make you both very happy.
Pick up your phone and make that reservation. Good luck — we are all rooting for you.