Dog Abby,
I’ve been dating a guy for about a year. I love him, and I know he loves me, but we seem to be in what you might call a “holding pattern.” I am even starting to get the feeling that he wants to break up with me. He is friends with quite a few women on social media, which I suppose is normal. So why do I feel so insecure about this lately? I am nervous about even broaching the subject with him.
Hesitant in Houston
Dear Hesitant,
Mom calls me a word that I am not 100% certain I understand. She calls me “subtle.” She says this after she has been working in her office for a long time and turns around to see that I have carefully placed a half-circle of tennis balls behind her chair. She says this when she is sitting on the couch and I drop one of my tennis balls in her lap. She has said this when I dropped one of my tennis balls in a guest’s open purse. I think this means that I make it very clear what I want. At least, that is what I take from it.
With Dad, I cannot be so subtle. He takes hints, but they have to be more along the lines of grabbing my ball and barking at him until he gives in and takes me for walkies. When he is too slow to give me a treat, I will do every trick I know until he catches on. He says that I give hints like hitting him in the head with a brick.
Are you subtle? Do you give brick hints? Maybe you should. Maybe you should be honest and upfront and find out what your boyfriend’s intentions are.
Sometimes when I am using a brick to drop subtle hints for Dad, he says no. Maybe it is too cold or rainy to go for walkies. Maybe I already had a treat and do not need another one. I do not like his answer, but at least I know up front so that I can make other plans. It may be jumping in the pool because I do not mind getting cold or wet, or it could be playing with my cat.
As far as being friends with other girls, Mom and Dad are friends with lots of other dogs and cats, and that does not bug any of us. They always come home to Max, Phrytzie, and me.
Do not just drop hints, be open and up front and have that conversation. The worst that could happen is that you find out the truth. Then you can make other plans.