A couple of years ago, I had a falling out with some friends on social media. Since then, I have found out that a mutual friend of ours died. I got an invitation from my friend’s family to attend the funeral, but I know several of these former friends of mine will also be there. Through the grapevine, I have heard it said that my former friends would cause a scene if I showed up. I want to be there for my friend and his family, but at the same time, I don’t want to create a negative experience in an already sad situation. What do I do?
Grieving in Georgia
First of all, I am very sorry to hear about your friend. I know that when Mom lost her best friend, my auntie Lexy, she was very, very sad and still is from time to time, even though it has been years. Friends are often more influential than family, and their impact should never be ignored. You choose your friends, and who your friends are says a lot about who you are.
That being said, I will tell a story that involves family.
When mom sets up her office on the bed, my sister kitty, Phrytzie, loves to cuddle up close and help mom get work done. Phrytzie loves to cuddle anyone, really, even me! My brother kitty, Max, likes to cuddle, too, but he is much pickier. Often, Max will jump up on the bed, and when he sees that Phrytzie is already there, he makes a huge scene. He does not have to, he is welcome to join us all, but he is just jealous, I guess. He will hiss and growl, and then Mom will invite him to leave. After all, he may be the elder kitty, but he is the one making a fuss, and he is the one that has to deal with himself.
Social media is not real life, no matter how seriously people take it. Real friendship transcends the digital age. You want to be there for your friend, and your friend’s family wants you to be there, so go. If anyone hops on later and wants to make a fuss, invite them to leave if they cannot control themselves. Be the better kitty…I mean…friend.