Chris McGarahan’s COVID update

This is important.

Please, Please, Please, remember to listen to, and follow what ever your State Governor says regrading the rules regarding Covid19 restrictions. 
That is unless your State Supreme Court ( like just happened in Wisconsin) rules that what your State Governor says is illegal.

If that happens, then you listen to what the State Assembly Members say, but only if they can agree.

If the State Assembly cant agree, then you follow what the County Board says …….as long as it’s something different than what the State Assembly says……but not too different.

The real challenge comes, if the Mayor of the City or town that you live in, says something different than the County does…. then you listen to them as long as you are in phase one.
You also have the option of listening to your Home Owners Association or the local Boy Scouts troop.

Now remember, if all of this fails, or you get confused, you can contact Elon Musk and ask him what state you should move to.
Elon is the best advisor on this as he just opened his factory against all regulations and says he will move his factory to another State if he can’t open it.

Also, if you do cross State lines, please don’t forget, you could have anywhere between 1 and 6 reopening phases.
You maybe quarantined for 14 days ( maybe 3 months ) or maybe not, but you should at least ask what phase they are in.

This will dictate if you can walk around or not, with or without a mask, unless you are going to the beach…. and of course, don’t go to the beach unless you have a beach close to where you live, or you maybe crossing State Lines.

Remember, if you are crossing State Lines to get a hair cut, you will have to check what phase they are in ……as not all states allow hair cuts at the same phase. This also applies to drinking milk shakes.

Ladies, latest update on your hair!

There will be buses allowed to leave your State, but only to get your hair done. The 150 seater bus can take 4 people each day to a State that can legally do your hair, but please remember to wash your hair on the bus. The reason for this is, the out of State Hair Stylist can cut and color your hair, but they can not wash it. Also please remove any fragments left from your old extensions on the bus, and bring your own sanitizer as there may be none left in the State you are getting your hair done in.

Just remember to check the State Supreme Court ruling of the State you are traveling to , before you leave the house to see if anything has changed and to see what is happening with Haircuts and Milk Shakes …..and what phase they are in.

Now, let’s say that you “feel” that you should be in a differant phase than you actually are in while living in your home State , according to you ….but not many other people. This is not a problem as your “feelings” about all this are probably temporary and you are probably delusional.

The fix for this mental state is, you can travel to another state that is actually in the phase that you “feel” you should be in, even if your neighbors disagree with you. Then you can go to that State, then drive back home and tell everyone you were right about the phase you were in. This will build your confidence up by being right …..and then the next step for you will be local politics.

Please don’t get into any legal trouble by signing up for unemployment benefits in the wrong location … you may get self employment unemployment by filling out the wrong form ……even though it’s on the same website and most of it is the same form, but of course this is only if the website does not crash, or the rules change before you complete the application. This is providing that Shake Shack did not beat you to the money.

If the above doesn’t work out, you maybe able to get an SBA loan that you may or may not have to pay back. That is, unless you are a “Gig” worker and you really are not sure about anything anymore.

It really is all about feelings and you must go with your “ gut feelings and “intuition”…. unless your wife, husband or teenage child, tells you that they just watched the news…..Then all your “feelings” are subject to change, and that’s OK. No one will think any worse of you.

Please do be careful if you are crossing State Lines…..that you don’t drive too far, or you may end up in a completely other State than you intended (as at this point you still don’t need a passport) that has no restrictions at all, and never has. If you ask those people in that State, what phase they are in, they won’t know what to say as they have never had a phase, and may offer you a hamburger in a restaurant or some dry cleaning. In that case please follow all local customs, so no one gets offended.

That is, unless the Supreme Court of the Land or the 9th Circuit Judge over rules the other guys decision …while taking into account what the Mayor of your city or town ( along with a bunch of other really smart people ) say about the whole thing.

Please don’t worry though, it’s all good…..if none of this works out, we can always revert to the Swedish model. Right now ……we do have our best and brightest people studying the Swedish model. Many people are now saying that the best thing we could do during this “down time” is to learn Swedish.

Just imagine in a couple of years from now, that we all looked back to this time …. and everyone regretted spending seven hours watching Tiger King on Netflix …..instead of learning Swedish. That would be really sad.

I just hope for all of us, that someone eventually figures out what the Swedish Model is.

Got it?


Everything said in this post is subject to change without notice, providing nothing changes.


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