A Royal Pain — Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening!



The big news this week was the hours-long queue waiting to see Queen Elizabeth the second while she was lying in state.

No, the news isn’t about the Queen, it’s about the line to see the dead queen.

In a lovely show of solidarity that no other nation would understand, British people of all walks of life patiently and politely lined up to say farewell to their Queen. Regular citizens calmly waited in the miles-long line alongside such notable names as footballer David Beckham and rock legend Sharon Osborne. Anyone jumping the line was summarily, and rightfully, admonished. Once the queue was closed for the evening, faithful Brits queued up to queue up for the queue once the official queue opened again the next day. …except for those that attempted to sell their wristbands on eBay for upwards of 70 thousand pounds.

I swear I am not making this up.

‘We’re Part of History’: An Overnight Wait to Bid Farewell to Queen Elizabeth

Tilda Swinton, David Beckham, Sharon Osbourne and Other Celebs Spotted in the Massive Queue to Honor Queen Elizabeth II

Ebay removes listings for Queen’s lying in state wristbands selling for up to £70k


The lesser news is that the Biden family flew Air Force One over with an accompanying cargo jet carrying 15 gas-guzzling SUVs (including the famed BEAST) so that they could get stuck in traffic on their way to the funeral, for which they were late. The Bidens were then relegated to the nosebleed section with the other riff raff so cameras would hopefully miss Old Joe playing with his tongue, coughing into his fist, and eventually, but predictably, falling asleep.

Joe Biden greets mourners as ‘The Beast’ gets stuck in traffic en route to the Queen’s funeral

Biden Shames America and Insults the Crown With His Behavior at the Queen’s Funeral

Trump Says He Would’ve Had Better Seat Than Biden at Queen’s Funeral



Later in the week, 60 Minutes released a pre-taped interview with the Mushmouth in Chief during which he repeated his tired “deer in kevlar” non-joke to validate his revoking the second Amendment, mumbled his way through a thoroughly unconvincing argument that he’s mentally capable, bragged about causing the highest inflation rate in 40 years because it’s only SLOWLY moving up now, still swore up and down that he knew nothing about weaponizing and siccing his own DOJ on anyone even tangentially related to Trump, and declared the forever pandemic over without so much as a nod to the CDC and other totalitarian entities that vehemently disagreed. The broadcast was aired after Pelosi and several other inside traders made exceptionally lucrative trades, and just before those stocks all tanked.

The Prince of Profundity also quadrupled down on his statement that the US will, indeed go to hot war with China over Taiwan, which the Whitehouse once again negated, because everyone knows Braindead Brandon can barely dress himself, much less lead an entire nation.

President Joe Biden: The 2022 60 Minutes Interview

Moderna, BioNTech, and Novavax plunge after President Biden says the COVID-19 pandemic ‘is over’

Biden tells 60 Minutes U.S. troops would defend Taiwan, but White House says this is not official U.S. policy

See every stock trade House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s husband has made since 2021


As if inflation and elitists demanding that we switch to coal-powered cars weren’t enough, thanks to the greenies, the world is now facing a beer shortage due to lack of CO2.

I swear I am not making this up.

U.S. beer shortage looms with gap in carbon dioxide supply


Speaking of greenhouse hysteria, in the great Communist utopia of California, climate change was blamed for a mass fish die off in the San Francisco harbor. California is known for blaming everything on climate change, from their ever increasing homeless population to governor Newsom’s need to wear a parka in his frigid office while telling people to turn off their air conditioners during heatwaves.

When scientists stopped virtue signaling and actually investigated, it was found that the algae bloom was caused by an overabundance of human waste, much of which emanated from Newsome’s speeches.

Thousands of dead fish are covering Bay Area beaches after red tide hits region

Poop and pee fueled the huge algae bloom in San Francisco Bay. Fixing the problem could cost $14 billion


Elites in Martha’s Vineyard, a well-known sanctuary city, were so upset at the 50 — YES, FIVE-ZERO — immigrants who sought sanctuary there, that they called the National Guard and had them immediately deported to a military prison…er…nearby Army base. The 50 illegal immigrants represented zero point zero zero zero one percent of the number of invaders the Biden cabal forces on border states each DAY.

The only thing liberal elites hate more than being inconvenienced is actually getting what they ask for.

Of course, liberals rushed to file lawsuits against Florida, Texas, and Arizona, claiming that the migrants were “tricked” into being relocated and were treated as political pawns because the three governors were flying and bussing dozens of them to other parts of the country in broad daylight, instead of thousands of them under cover of night, like the Biden regime has been doing since day one.

Ron DeSantis sends two planes of illegal immigrants to Martha’s Vineyard

Two migrant buses from Texas arrive outside VP Kamala Harris’ DC residence

Migrants sent to Martha’s Vineyard are being rehoused on a base in Cape Cod


Speaking of travel debacles…

At the Lagos airport, Nigerian customs officers became suspicious of a group of 16 bags because of their foul odor. Upon investigating, the authorities reportedly intercepted 7,000 smuggled donkey penises heading for Hong Kong.

I swear I am not making this up.

Thousands of donkey penises seized in smuggling operation between Nigeria and Hong Kong

Smelly Sacks Containing 7,000 Smuggled Donkey Penises Intercepted at Nigerian Airport


The FBI, otherwise known as King Brandon’s personal Gestapo, has such an abysmal track record that they’ve begun to desperately invade, interrogate, and seize the belongings of anyone they can get their mitts on, no matter how ridiculous the charges. This week, FBI officers confiscated MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell’s cell phone outside of a Hardee’s burger joint, based on a warrant that cited, QUOTE “authorization or lack of authorization to damage or modify any Dominion computerized voting system.” END QUOTE, because — as we’ve all been told ad nauseum — the world’s most free, fair, and SECURE election could absolutely, positively not — I repeat NOT — be affected by any outside influencers, particularly a pillow pusher on his iPhone, so they had to confiscate said phone. It should be noted that Lindell is currently embroiled in a 1.3 billion dollar lawsuit with Dominion because he hurt their feefees.

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell claimed the FBI seized his phone outside a Hardee’s: ‘My hearing aids run off this!’

A judge has rejected MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell’s appeal to dismiss Dominion’s $1.3 billion lawsuit against him


Thanks to the Biden cabal’s endless vicarious war with Russia, Putin has called up another 300,000 soldiers and is now threatening both the US and Europe with nuclear war. Biden directly addressed this threat by creepily whispering, “Don’t. Don’t. Don’t,” a plea that any warmongering dictator would respect. Putin has no fear of retribution from what was once the strongest nation in the world because, when the current leader of the once-free country isn’t giving satanic hate speeches condemning half his subjects, he’s sending billions of their tax dollars overseas to continue wars that destroy the economy further so that he has to raise our taxes so that he can send more of them overseas. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Putin Calls Up More Troops as His War Effort Falters

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