Welcome to the show.
Facebook bestowed the “Satire Page” label on us! I’m so honored!
We hit the algorithm for another minute on ScrewTube!
Sweet Chicken Biscuits! Twitter is free!
The salt flows…
Twitter Employees Protest Elon Musk’s Plan to Fire 75% of Workforce
This week on colormesurprised.com
Test scores show historic COVID setbacks for kids across US
News of the Weird and Wonderful
More weird than wonderful
Isn’t the whole point of wearing them to bring things into focus?
Doctor Removes 23 Contact Lenses From Woman’s Eye
Some Guy Registered His Beer As an Emotional Support Animal
Photos Showing Victorians Painstakingly Rebuilding Stonehenge in 1901 Are Rewriting the Guidebooks
Mythbusted: Goldfish Have Great Memories and Are Even Used as a Model Species of Fish Cognition
More wonderful than weird:
Wish we could plant a tree to commemorate Biden going to a home…but this is good for now.
50-Year White House Groundskeeper is Surprised With Elm Tree Planted To Honor Him For 200 Years
Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening
Chuck lays down the bare facts. They ain’t pretty.
Welcome to the New Abnormal
LOL, we’re so fat and woke that we can’t build an army
The U.S. Army is struggling to find the recruits its needs to win the fight over the future
Our Newest Sponsor
Based on a true story.
This is Why we Can’t Have Nice things
eBay bans listing described as ‘Jeffrey Dahmer costumes’ that resemble items worn by serial killer
‘Filthy’ zoo refuses to release ‘world’s saddest gorilla’ for less than $780K
At terrifying zoo, humans imprisoned while lions roam free
This is what happens when you defund the police. (Also, it’s CA, so notably dumb)
Off-duty officer cleaning gun mistakenly shoots self, kills bystander
Florida Man
Florida Man does exactly what you’d expect him to do when his speeding Camero is spotted by cops
Camaro driver speeds away from officer, crashes, dies at hospital
Alleged wallet-snatcher swims into Tampa Bay to avoid arrest
Geesh, could this “news” writer be more biased?
Attorney who fought Florida helmet laws died in motorcycle crash while not wearing one
News of the Wonderfuller
Incredible Birth of Endangered Baby Rhino is Captured on Zoo’s Cameras, and Galloping Within Minutes