And now, CCW News presents: Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening!
No Walls Edition, October 10, 2023
I’m Chuck U. Farley
The big news this week is that King Brandon has managed to fund both sides of yet another war. You may recall Biden’s September 11 hostage situation with Iran, for which we taxpayers were extorted out of six BILLION dollars with the promise that they would only use it for humanitarian reasons.
Their first humanitarian endeavor was to have Hamas bomb the living daylights out of Israel. They were even kind enough to do it on a major Jewish holiday, and topped it off by sending vans full of terrorists to shoot and kill 260 innocent music festival-goers in southern Israel. As of this report, Israel has officially declared war on Hamas.
The hostage strategy worked so well for them the last time that they are reportedly capturing as many Israelies they can get their grubby mitts on. In a move so cowardly that it could only be compared to a Biden, the terrorists are mostly preying on women and the elderly.
Of course, the big news according to the legacy media is not the more than 1,100 dead, including four Americans, and thousands more wounded, but how the Republicans are reacting to it, because everyone knows, your nemesis’s reaction to your atrocities is far more important than your actual atrocities.
The war-mongering Biden cabal has decided to buck their own laws to build the border wall they said they’d never build, not because their open borders policy, as predicted, has caused a nation-wide resource drain and crime pandemic, but because they weren’t able to misappropriate the funds elsewhere. The reconstruction of said wall has been renamed as a “border barrier construction,” so that the word “wall” may be memory holed.
…Which literally means that…now we’re buying back the wall materials that Biden sold because walls don’t work so that we can rebuild the immoral wall that we paid for that doesn’t work because it isn’t there, but it will work now because we’re not calling it a wall.
Asked whether he believes the border not-wall works, Biden sighed and said, “no,” but we’re paying for it — twice — anyways. Meanwhile, he has instructed Border Patrol officers to not only open all gates, but to fist-bump invaders as they cross the line.
I swear, I am not making this up.
Kevin McCarthy was ousted as Speaker of the House, making him the first Speaker to be removed on a no-confidence vote, mainly because he confided a little too much with the Democrats and made side deals to send still more funds to Ukraine, rather than pay our own bills at home.
Democrats are so transparently meddling in the upcoming election that they’re proving desperate for something, anything, to stick to presidential frontrunner Donald Trump. Since most of their nonsense has been dismissed by courts with real judges, they’re resorting to paid shills who will prosecute just for the street cred.
Democrats are now lobbying for Trump to have to pay taxes on his Mar-a-lago property as it is valued for insurance purposes because they lack the intelligence to separate the two and based on their idiotic belief that a property owner can assess and declare the value of his own property and any bank would shrug and say, “that sounds about right.”
As members of Congress actively inform us that their leniency, police defunding, and no-bail policies work, crime in D.C. has risen to the point that many members of the very same Congress have taken to sleeping in their offices because it is too dangerous for them to leave after dark. I swear, I am not making this up.
While anyone who even breathes the idea of questioning the most perfect, corruption-fee election of all time is immediately deplatfomred and silenced, Amazon’s A.I. Alexa has declared that the 2020 election was QUOTE “stolen by a massive amount of election fraud” END QUOTE.
The impressionable left, who not only developed but programmed all of the A. I. platforms immediately jumped into action, saying that Alexa was lured into thinking for herself by a tyrannical INCEL, and should — thus — be ignored, like most hysterical women, because we should believe all women all the time, unless they disagree with the Leftist narrative.
One last reminder, we still do not know a single name on Epstein’s client list, who is snorting coke in the Whitehouse, or how many children perished in the Maui fire — and honest sources say we never will.
I swear…I am not making this up…
For CCW News, this has been Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening.
I’m Chuck U. Farley.
Good night, and may God help us.