Ministry of Truth

Welcome to the show.

We are one short week away from broadcasting from our Brand New Sudio in Deepinaharta, Texas! Thank you for your prayers and support as we make a welcome and much-needed move to safer, more comfortable quarters. Tonight, we discuss the Ministry of Truth, revisit a classic sketxh in our “CALLED IT!” segment, and give yet another example of why foregin countries shake their heads at Americans.

Current Events

Join the Mental Health “Zoom-in” with Pastor Steven Jerles & Dr. Henry Cloud. We’ll learn how to deal with anxiety, depression, loneliness, and marriage issues. Meetings are Tuesdays at 11:30a Central starting on May 3.

Register at CCCTexas.org

News of the Weird and Wonderful

60-Year-Old McDonald’s Fries Unearthed During Crystal Lake DIY Project

 

National Parks Service Releases Funny PSA In Response To Tourist-Animal Encounters

 

East Texas 16-year-old sets fishing world record

 

13-Year-Old To Start PhD Program In Theoretical Physics After Obtaining Bachelor’s Degree

 

Dog with three legs battling cancer rescues otter from river

 

Congolese Nun Overcomes Blackouts by Becoming Electrician to Create Hydroelectric Plant

 

Happy 70th Birthday, Mr. Potato Head!

CALLED IT!

We recorded a sketch in 2018 about Job Interviews of the Future…The future, sickeningly, has arrived.

Song Time!

Melanie and Her Secret Weapon perform their classic, “Marty Feldman Eyes,” in honor of AOC getting trolled by Elon Musk.

This is Why we Can’t Have Nice things

Texas Woman Proposes Sex to Avoid Ticket, Gets Bribery Charge Instead

 

Teacher under fire for cotton, handcuffs in class on slavery

 

Chaos as American family brings unexploded shell to Israel airport

 

Accused drunk driver trying to drive down stairs said she was following GPS, cops say

 

British expats in Spain face weeks of chaos as they are banned from driving after failure to reach a post-Brexit agreement on UK driving licences

 

Feeding pelicans lands you in jail

 

Taylor Swift’s graduation address has NYU warning ‘Bad Blood’ to any ticket scalpers

 

Canada to prosecute crimes on the Moon

 

Oklahoma woman slaps Little Caesars employee over lack of Crazy Bread

 

Caught on video: intruder stands over San Bernardino residents as they sleep

 

Woman making church donation injured when thief tries to steal her car

Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening!

Chuck gives us more unbelievable tales of the real. Rational people and freedom lovers, beware!

 

News of the Wonderfuller

Widow Finds Late Husband’s Wedding Ring Under Apple Tree – 35 Years After He Lost It

 

Mom, 98 Years Old, Moves Into Same Nursing Home as Son to Help Him

Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening —April 24, 2022

1

DeSantis tests limits of his combative style in Disney feud

2

Twitter Confused As DeSantis Challenger Nikki Fried Appears To Start A Rumor About Herself

3

Elon Musk trolls Bill Gates as a ‘pregnant man’

4

CNN+ will shut down at the end of April

5

New Amazon Worker Chat App Would Ban Words Like “Union,” “Restrooms,” “Pay Raise,” And “Plantation”

6

US gov’t report proposed nuking the moon, newly released documents reveal

7

Biden team forced to clean up his COVID transit mask, Title 42 confusion

CNN Minus

Welcome to the show.

Tonight, Jim confuses Tyvek with Kevlar, Max talks about the downfall of CNN+, we talk Booby Traps, and Chuck tells more hair raising misadventures that are reallly happening.

Current Events

Happy 80th birthday, Babs & 88th to Shirley McClaine

RIP Orrin Hatch

 

Seattle has fallen

Seattle’s violent crime rate reached 14-year high in 2021

Seattle police flood downtown following 2nd homicide in 4 days

QFC is now locking down ice cream on Capitol Hill — more security including ‘access control gates’ coming

‘Brutal,’ ‘crazy’ housing market has Seattle-area homes selling half-million over asking price

Is Washington becoming the new Florida? Oh, wait, this lady was from California…never mind.

Woman rescued after falling in vault toilet to retrieve cellphone

 

News of the Weird and Wonderful

Woman Startled To Discover The ‘Dead’ Dalmatian She Was Saving Was A Life-Sized Toy

 

The Planets are Prepping for An Epic Alignment – Here’s How to Watch it Shape Up

 

21-year-old chihuahua confirmed as the world’s oldest dog

 

Odd Australia: ‘roo on the roof, M&M’s stacking, long-lost surfboard

 

I swear I was not on this flight…

Bacardi says hundreds of cases of cognac disappeared from American Airlines flight

 

Feline social media star with unusual eyes to serve as ‘Mayor of Hell’

 

Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening!

Chuck is back..and probably wishes he weren’t.

This is Why we Can’t Have Nice things

Scottsdale’s DEI Gurus Accuse Black DJ Of Wearing Blackface

 

Police play Disney tunes to prevent video of them on patrol being posted online

 

SC man arrested for shooting zombie-costumed employee at Myrtle Beach haunted house

 

Kentucky man awarded $450,000 after unwanted work birthday party triggered panic attack

(Inclusdes Mini Ginger Rant.)

Interviews to the Max

Max thinks he is going to interview Brian Setzer of Stray Cats…It doesn’t quite work out like that.

News of the Wonderfuller

Blind Shelter Cat Survives Texas Tornado That Destroyed Jacksboro Animal Shelter

 

Bigger than Texas: Huge New Marine Park Will Protect ‘Australia’s Galapagos’

 

Spencer the beloved therapy dog named “official dog of the Boston Marathon” after battling cancer

 

Our Newest Sponsor

Check out this new ad from Jim’s new sxhool!

Florida Man

 

Florida man steals crossbow by stuffing it down his pants

 

Florida man punched by Mike Tyson on JetBlue plane is an ex-con who has served nearly THREE YEARS in prison

He is Risen!

Happy Easter and welcome to the show.

The day that sets our faith apart from the others! We celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, but not without visiting our favorite segments and having lots of fun!

Jesus Wept

The Story of Jim playonmg Our Lord and Savior. Not once, nut TWICE! (Jim got choked up during a reading at church today, hence the title.)

 

Goodbye Gilbert Gottfried

We bid farewell to SNL alum, voiceover artist (AFLAC!) and legendary stand up comic Gilbert Gottfried. He was one of a kind.

Current Events

Chicago-area church announces it is ‘fasting from whiteness’ during Lent

Media attention overwhelms website of church giving up ‘whiteness’ for Lent

 

This does my heart good

Shirley Teter Sued Project Veritas, Lost, and is Ordered to Pay Veritas’ Expenses

News of the Weird and Wonderful

A teen who was homeless gets his beloved dog back and a place to live thanks to strangers

 

This is Why we Can’t Have Nice things

 

Cruel and unusual punishment: pregnancies erupt in “all-women’s” prisons

 

Nope nope nope nope nope…

The Coffee Stirrer: New York’s super-thin skyscraper is ready for residents – just don’t mention the swaying

 

Speaking of coffee: how petty can you get?

I’m a former Starbucks barista – there is a universal trick we use when customers are rude & I won’t say sorry for it

 

Speaking of petty:

Dublin Airport got 12,272 noise complaints last year from just one person

 

Nah, this isn’t terrifyingly fascist at all…

Pennsylvania man arrested for putting ‘I did that’ Biden stickers on gas pumps to protest soaring prices

 

Wewant to hunt these monsters down

Dolphin stranded on Texas beach dies after crowd tries to ride the animal

Holy Crap!

It would be funnier if these srories weren’t true. Chuck has the latest

News of the Wonderfuller

This man donated a kidney to a stranger — then summited Mount Kilimanjaro to prove a point

 

News of the Wonderfullest

The Easter Story

Luke 24

Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening — Harvey the Easter Rabbit Edition, April 17, 2022

1

What is going on with Elon Musk and Twitter?

Twitter adopts ‘poison pill’ to block Elon Musk takeover bid

—-

2

Search for New York subway gunman centers on man who rented U-Haul van

NYC subway ‘shooter’ Frank James told police ‘I’ve been waiting for you’

—-

3

Jussie Smollett once again claims innocence in new song after jail release

‘You got the wrong one’: Jussie Smollett releases song after jail release

 

4

Beto O’Rourke carefully threads needle on border policy as Democrats grapple with the issue

 

5

New Jersey public school students as young as 10 could be taught that puberty blockers are an acceptable way to ‘manage’ adolescence and that masturbating ‘a few times a day’ is a healthy way to relieve stress, sample lesson plan reveals

 

Children’s mental health is in crisis

6

 

Was Biden ‘Lost’ During Obama Visit?

Russian warship: Moskva sinks in Black Sea

 

New Guatemalan migrant caravan expected to arrive at southern border in May when Title 42 ends

It Wasn’t Bird Poop but Corn That Fell on Biden During Iowa Silo Speech, White House Says

Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening — Trust the Government, No, Really, Edition, April 10, 2022


Written by Mélanie Hope / Performed by James Moniz
Video editing by StormKatt Productions
Links to stories listed on counterculturewise.com
Full script on SubscribeStar

1

Judge issues first outright acquittal of Jan. 6 riot defendant

2

2 men found not guilty in Whitmer kidnap plot trial, mistrial declared for other defendants

Echoes Of Fbi Entrapment Haunt Failed Plot To Kidnap Gretchen Whitmer

The FBI Allegedly Used At Least 12 Informants In The Michigan Kidnapping Case

3

Sacramento mass shooting was the result of gang violence and involved at least 5 gunmen, police say

4

Whole of Shanghai enters COVID lockdown despite lower symptomatic cases

Shanghai carries out more COVID tests as food supply frustrations rise

5

Ukrainians use ‘Find My iPhone’ to see where Russians took their stolen Apple devices

6

‘I cannot teach in Florida’: LGBTQ educators fear fallout from new school law

7

Henry Cuellar Becomes Sixth House Democrat to Oppose Biden Lifting Title 42

Texas AG Paxton invites legal fight with Biden admin over busing migrants to DC

Congress isn’t satisfied with Biden’s extension of the student-loan payment pause