Ohio, what? Is something happening there? Hmm…nope… No other trains derailing anywhere else, either. Shhhh… ‘Merica — where we spend billions to bomb balloons, amiright? Canada — where we spend millions to shut up our citizens, amiright? The Grammys — where we spend millions to suck up to talentless, devil-worshiping hacks, amiright? Project Veritas gets it all un-veritased. Our soon to be vegetable-in-chief is doing even worse than our current one.
Justice isn’t good enough for Tyre’s murder. Adam Schiff continues to shill for China. Pelosi hangs on tight to what’s most important. Netflix boots their base. Only Fans, is it really for preschoolers? M&Ms aren’t satisfied with just being un-sexy. Project Veritas simply verifies at this point. Plants are smarter than our president.
Comic book villains want you to eat bugs while they fly around in private jets. Greta fakes her own arrest. Babylon Bee FTW. Pelosi is exorcised. Baldwin might face a light spanking for his premeditated murder. We will never know who leaked. Asian lives, much like Black lives, don’t matter to the Press. If you’re crypto and you know it, hide! New Zealand’s dictator un-dictates herself at the request of her country. Joe has been stuffing top-secret docs for decades, and yet he still doesn’t get a full on raid; amateur.
Andrew Tate is served…pizza… Goodbye to Pointers, Pele, the Pope, and Barbara Walters. FTX’s Bankman-Fried definitely will not Epstein himself. George Santos out-Bidens even Joe. Trumps taxes are somehow our business. North Korea takes advantage of the circus monkeys in Washington.
Biden hogs all the secret documents. McCarthy kicks out kooks. Lisa Marie loses to climate change. Blowups over gas stoves. The FAA gets a blue screen of death. Las Vegas terror hit on power grid; Press not interested. Never spritz a vagrant, especially in San Fran. Fauci helps to blow Chinese minds.
McCarthy finally bullied his way out of the doghouse and into the main House. CNN hires inflicted RINO. Blackface Trudeau hunts Justin Peterson for hurting Karens with factual tweets. Crocs go pedo, but they always were creepy. Biden gets another do-gooder sacked…for no reason that involves his son, we’re sure… The weaponized Capitol cops arrest the mother of the only J6 victim.
