Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening — Cinco de Mayday Edition, May 8, 2024


Pro-Hamas protestors need more brown people, apparently, but at least they’re not xenophobic like most of the East, according to the Cabbage in Chief. Thomas Massie dodges Ukrainian flags on the floor, but might still go to jail for reading the Bible. Biden continues his election meddling, though it seems to be melting like his face. Still, he struggles to maintain eye contact with the plebs. The US absolutely, positively has no boots on the ground in Gaza (wink).

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Forget Thanksgiving, let’s talk Christmas Edition, 2023


End the year with cheer: the Dems are melting down over Alex Jones regaining his First Amendment rights. Trump is voted off the ballot, because that’s how democracy works. Ivy league colleges side with Nazis. Putin will consider a cease fire, but Zelenskyy has too much to gain to consider. Houthi militants take his side. San Francisco cleaned its streets so it could host totalitarian dictators and the leader of China, too. Border crossings are darned near where Joe Biden and crew want them, but not quite. Ohio celebrates genocide. Christians face same. Doctor Jill shows her (lack of) sense of style.

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We Stand.


Tonight, we’re going to respond to a kind letter from a listener, impart some wisdom on Israel, and play our new Starcucks ad! Chuck checks in too! All this, plus, news of the weird, wonderful, and wicked.

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Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening — Aloha Snackbar Edition, October 22, 2023


We still don’t have a speaker, and nobody cares. Hamas needs to be wiped from the planet but dumb college students disagree. Tlaib and BLM are terrorists, but you’ll be arrested for pointing that out (we’re certainly shadow banned for that). The Cabbage in Chief’s handlers want more and more and more and more and more. Screw 1A, 2A, and any other A that get in the way. Meanwhile, Russia has employed dolphins and Biden’s face is a phallus.

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Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening — No Walls Edition, October 10, 2023


Hamas and Biden sitting in a tree, bomb the entire Holy city. Sells the wall, then wants it back. Now even McCarthy is under attack. Dems really hate that orange man bad. D.C. violence makes everyone sad. Amazon Alexa may open her eyes. Our government still only tells us lies.

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A Tired Old Man


Most people who know me would say that I am generally a happy guy, and that not much gets to me. This is not one of those moments. From a woman’s march partially led by a woman with ties to…

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