Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening – Gall Around the World Edition, January 22, 2024


DeSantis out, Sasquatch in. ESPN takes the L. Kamala and Fani…need I say more? SI GTFO. Yup, the ‘rona was exactly as you thought, and they did exactly what you thought about it. Trudeau doesn’t want criminals to be embarrassed. Australia loves their pedos. Javier BTFOs the WEF. Russia and China, but we saw that coming. Watch your back if you buy a bible.

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Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening — Nuclear Witch Hunt Edition, February 2023


Tiger does a misogyny and CNN ain’t having it. An actual witch is witch hunting Trump. Kamala hates us but adores her busses and circles. Wikkiwikki leaves ScrewTube. Don Lemon gets squeezed. The Biden family is full of criminals, surprise surprise. King Brandon hand-delivered our money to Ukraine while avoiding disasters at home. Trump trumps Biden’s domestic aid.

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Ghosts ARE the Machine — Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening!


The racist, sexist hurricane met its match. Biden is Puerto Rican because…reasons. UC Berkley goes full fascist. Fauci gets rich off fear porn. Biden sees more dead people. Democrats will cure weather. Italian families are the end of the world. Late night didn’t end early enough. The NYT eats crow. OPEC laughs in Biden’s face. Putin declares the end of the world where there will be no mean tweets.

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Fake it if You Can’t Make it Edition — Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening!


Goodbye choco taco. Lia Thomas loses to a girl. Matt Gaetz calls ‘em like he sees ‘em. AOC gets in $50 worth of trouble with the popo. Alan Eyre cancels himself. Bill de Blasio finally gives in to popular demands. Twitter and Reddit name all rainbow folk “groomers.” Cannibalism, no, really. Biden gets cancer, corona, and legal aids.

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Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening – Meanwhile at the end of January


The most popular president ever has second presser, including meltdowns and lies. Smarter countries lift mandates. California is a dystopian hellscape, but we knew that. Canadian truckers ain’t having it. China bans all talk of their cruel reality just in time for the Olympics. VP Harris sounds even more braindead than her boss. The green M&M deserves more press than the diaper-wearer in chief.

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Holy Crap - Orange Man Right

Holy Crap, this is actually happening – Orange Man Right edition


Nukes trump guns, ‘rona reporting gets creative, Chauvin is sold down river, McAfee gets Epsteined, California rakes its forests, Lafayette hoax revealed, Kamala is the worst border czar ever.

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