Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening — Cinco de Mayday Edition, May 8, 2024


Pro-Hamas protestors need more brown people, apparently, but at least they’re not xenophobic like most of the East, according to the Cabbage in Chief. Thomas Massie dodges Ukrainian flags on the floor, but might still go to jail for reading the Bible. Biden continues his election meddling, though it seems to be melting like his face. Still, he struggles to maintain eye contact with the plebs. The US absolutely, positively has no boots on the ground in Gaza (wink).

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Forget Thanksgiving, let’s talk Christmas Edition, 2023


End the year with cheer: the Dems are melting down over Alex Jones regaining his First Amendment rights. Trump is voted off the ballot, because that’s how democracy works. Ivy league colleges side with Nazis. Putin will consider a cease fire, but Zelenskyy has too much to gain to consider. Houthi militants take his side. San Francisco cleaned its streets so it could host totalitarian dictators and the leader of China, too. Border crossings are darned near where Joe Biden and crew want them, but not quite. Ohio celebrates genocide. Christians face same. Doctor Jill shows her (lack of) sense of style.

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Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening — Unconstitutional Edition, September 11, 2023


Democrats have given up hiding their disdain for the Constitution. They’re also hunting anyone who complains about it, including duly elected Presidents. Sanctuary cities regret their stupid choice. The meat puppet in chief has made us weaker, poorer, and more in danger of nuclear war. NASA makes air.

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Orange is the New Black


Tonight we’ll talk about the latest Moon landing, the legend that was Bob Barker, and Joe’s bumblings on Maui. All this, plus, news of the weird, wonderful, and wicked. And, if you play nice, some Florida Man!

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Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening — Basement Dweller Edition, July 23, 2023


That’s right folks, it’s 2020 on rinse, lather, repeat. Sharks on coke. No…seriously. Is Rand Paul Batman? He seems to be able to survive anything. Cluster bombs; they’re not just for third-world countries anymore. Oops, he won’t do it again. Black lives apparently are the only ones who riot. FOX shows their true colors, not that we didn’t see THAT a mile away.

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Holy Crap, This is Actually Happening — Oh, Thank Heaven Edition, July 11, 2023


From Diet Coke to REAL coke in the Whitehouse, thank Heaven we’ve returned decency, amiright? Stop being so chaste, Planned Parenthood needs your business! Musk and Zuck update. Bond villain Bill is at it again; will he block out the sun with mosquitoes? France is still on fire, but they can’t tell you about it — find out why. Guess where Prigozhin is hiding. No, seriously, guess!

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